Departments and Ministries
Dear Dr. Smith
4. Dear Dr. Smith, I am a divorcee and I am looking for someone with whom to share my life but my friends keep telling me that it is a sin to get married again as my husband is still alive. I do not intend to live alone for the rest of my life because my children are all grown and I am lonely. Plus, there is someone who is interested in me and I am giving him the brush off because I am not sure. Yet I do not want to regret pushing him away. Dr Smith, is it wrong to feel as I do?
Dear Concerned, Thank you for your question. You are not alone with this concern, as a matter of fact many have gone ahead and gotten remarried without even seeking Spiritual and professional counsel. The issue of divorce and remarriage has become a complicated issue in the Christian church. Complicated, not because the Bible is not clear on the subject, but complicated because there are inconsistent practices among pastors and churches.
I will not attempt to address the inconsistencies, but stick to the principles of the Bible. Remarriage is mention twice in the New Testament, both occurrences are in the book of Matthew (19:9 & 5:32). In both instances the Bible makes it clear that remarriage should take place only when the divorce is on the grounds of Adultery. If you read the SDA Church manual, you will find a further elaboration on this subject. The concern I have is the statement you made in your question, that is, “I do not intend to live alone for the rest of my life because my children are all grown and I am lonely.”
While I do not want to judge your motive, it does suggest that you will do what you want to do despite the counsel, I do hope this is not so. There are several implications rapped up in remarriage, such as, spiritual, emotional, psychological, social, and relational. Please note that second marriages have a faster rate of divorce than do first marriages. Whatever you do, make sure you honor Christ in your action. May God bless you.