Departments and Ministries
Dear Dr. Smith
6. Dear Dr. Smith,
How do I choose the right partner? Still looking
Dear Still Looking, I believe you must first understand yourself. Know your likes and dislikes. Acknowledge your strengths and be sure to accept your limitations. Identify what you find attractive about the opposite sex. Be sure it is not just physical. Are you attracted to this person because he/she sings well? Because he/she is popular? Because he/she is "funny?" While those characteristics may help in most relationships, they are not enough to go by. There should be some attraction, however it should be supported by substantive, well thought out criteria that are congruent with who you are and the values you endorse.
Some Questions That May Be Asked:
1. Does this person respect me?
2. Does this person show a caring attitude?
3. What is the family history of this person as it relates to relationships?
4. What is the relationship of this person with his/her immediate family (parents, siblings, etc.)?
5. What are the strong values of this person?
6. Does this person love the Lord? Is he/she spiritual?
7. Is this person consistent in the display of their values?
8. Is this person interesting?
9. Is this person progressive?
10. Does this person respect your family?
11. Does your family respect this person?
12. Is this person more than five years older than you are? Or are the developmental
differences far apart?
13. Does this person like animals?
14. Is this person affectionate?
15. How well are you able to communicate with this person?
16. Do you get along with this person's friends?
17. Would your parents get along with this person's parents?
18. Does this person support your life goals?
19. Are you happy in the company of this person?
20. What reviews do you get from this person's peers?
21. What kind of parent is this person likely to be?
22. Is he/she a good role model for your children?
23. Is this person honest?
24. Is this person a risk taker?
25. Does this person have acceptable grooming skills?
26. Is there any history of mental illness in this person’s family?
27. Is this person mature?
28. What kinds of problem solving and decision-making skills does this person
29. Does this person manage money well?
30. Is this person academically stimulating, is he/she creative/or intelligent?
31. Is this person hard working?
32. Is this person reckless?
33. Does this person have a vision for his life? Is it compatible with your goals?
While you may not find any one person with a positive outcome to all these questions be sure you are able to live with the shortcomings. If you are going some place with your life then you are going to seek someone who will complement or supplement you. Discuss your goals with each other and determine how mutual are they. Put your plans in God’s hands and pray for His guidance!!! Listen to your parents!!! Talk to your Pastor.