Departments and Ministries
Dear Dr. Smith
16. Dear Dr. Smith:
I have met someone and would like to marry her, but I was previously married, during my marriage my wife and I started having problems. She went so far as to move out of the house; but her moving out was not because of any kind of abuse physical or otherwise.
I tried to reconcile and to seek counseling through the church for us to attend but she was not interested in counseling or reconciliation.
Was it beneficial for me to stay in a relationship where counseling and reconciliation was offered but rejected? Can I marry this person?
My dear friend,
I empathized with your situation and understand the pain that comes from a failed marriage. The phrase “I was previously married” suggest that you are now divorced. If so, on what grounds were you divorced? Who filed for the divorce? You said you tried to reconcile and sought counseling, if that was the case, which marriage counselor did you seek? Did you go for any counseling yourself? Did you ask your pastor to visit your home early when you sense a breaking down in the marital relationship? Did you have children with your ex-wife? If you did, who has custody and why? If you are not the custodial parent, are you faithful in supporting you child/ren, financially, emotionally and physically?
Your desire to be re-married is not as simple as you may take it. There are spiritual and eternal consequences involved. Divorce and re-marriage must be entered into carefully and must be according to the written requirements of God. The Bible is very clear on the grounds for divorce. I would encourage you to think this through carefully and prayerfully and make sure your actions are according to the written will of God. Thanks for your question and may God give you wisdom in any decision you make.