48 - What should I do, I am desperate?
Home > Departments and Ministries > Family Ministries > Dear Dr. Smith >

48.  Dear Dr. Smith
I have been separated from my husband for the past three years. He is living with another woman. I have three children for him and they do not deserve to grow up without their father, neither do I without my husband. He comes by sometimes and gives very little financial support, he says he is coming back but he does not know when. I don’t want to end my marriage, and I am waiting and hoping that he will come back to us. But right now he seems to be enjoying himself and shows no interest in redeeming his marriage. Please tell me what should I do, I am desperate.


Dear Desperate Wife, 

Your story is a very painful and troublesome one. Your husband does not seem to want the marriage anymore. Three years is a long time to be absent from your spouse. I hear what you say about you and your children and what you deserve, but you must remember that one hand cannot clap, that is to say, you alone cannot make it happen. It takes two to make a marriage work. 


Right now your husband is enjoying his life somewhere else, and it's time you start thinking about living your own life without him. Unless you want to spend the rest of your life waiting around for him. Even if he comes back, I don't think he is going to treat you with any respect. Therefore, you must start rising above your pain, conquer your fears, and set your face like a flint towards the future and navigate your life with God on your side.


Child support for three children is not just “very little financial support” the law mandates him to take adequate financial care of his children. Therefore, do not think it’s unchristian to take him to family court for financial support for the children. 


As for his behavior, it's just a matter of time, if he don't change his ways, his day is coming, "Be not deceived, God is not mocked, for whatsoever a man soweth that shall he also reap" The word of God does not lie,


I will keep you in my prayers, be strong, remember behind ever dark cloud there is a silver lining. Keep trusting in God.



God bless.


Dr. Smith