55 - My partner loves to look at porn online
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55. Dear Dr. Smith

 

My problem is that my partner of several years loves to look at porn online, chatting with the girls and then he would have an orgasm. We do have sex but not too often and when we do its always me that want it, he never approaches me and also I am the one doing everything. Sometimes he would have an orgasm and sometimes not. I really feel terrible about the situation but he always tell me that nothing is wrong with me and to top it off he’s Christian and fully knows what is right and wrong and what pleases God. What do you thing about this situation Dr Smith?

Dear Concerned Spouse,

Pornography will always destroy intimacy in a marriage. At first it may seem to heighten frequency and desire but in the long run it becomes disgusting and problematic. The fact that he is having an orgasm by chatting online with girls is a strong indicator why he is not having sex with you frequently. He neither has the desire for you nor the desire to be aroused again by you.

At this point you are just a phantom wife, when he does have sex with you he is fantasizing on those online women. Your relationship with your husband is just a pseudo-relationship.

You should not be the one to be feeling terrible about the situation, he should. Stop feeling sorry for him. Confront him and ask him to stop his ungodly practice. You say he is a Christian, then tell him that if does not stop you will go to the pastor and talk to him about your marital problem. As long as you cover for him, he will continue his pathology.

May God grant you the strength to do the right thing and my your husband find peace with himself and seek God for strength.

 Be blessed.
Dr. Smith