63 - I started watching women and it's grown to watching everything
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63. Dear Dr. Smith
I need prayer, I don’t know what to do, I am 27, and I live with my brother, I received SSI. I want to buy my own house, but my mom is having a hard time. She says that my younger brother is continually disrespecting her; she wants my older brother to do something about it. I feel like everybody overlooks me, I feel like people have low expectations of me.
I want to help my mother out, but she really doesn’t want to do anything for herself, I don’t have a mentor or anyone to help me with understanding life. I have a problem with porn; I started watching women and it's grown to watching everything from women, bestiality, men, transsexuals or whatever else. I’m not blaming my dad but he pretty much got me started on porn, I have nobody in my family to look up to. 
I wondered why God allows me to go threw this, I figured there are lots of people doing more or worse things than me, I feel like I’m at a loss, I don’t know what directions to take in life. I want to serve Christ and I need prayer on many levels, please help me.
 
Dear I Need Prayer,
You identified yourself as a 27 year-old man who has some concerns about what direction to take in life. I gathered from your email the following facts:
•    You need prayer
•    You are on SSI
•    You live with your brother 
•    Your mother is having a hard time
•    Your want to help your mother
•    You want to buy your own house
•    You lack confidence in your ability to make decisions
•    You have a problem with porn
•    You want to serve Christ 

Dear friend, you seem to be surrounded by family members who are not able to support the goals that you have set for yourself. You seem discounted by them and that leaves you with low self-confidence. You want to make something of yourself but you do not know how. I suggest that you go in for counseling or go and speak with your pastor and tell him your concerns. He/she will be able to help you assort your priority. 

Failing that you may speak to a trusted adult at church. If you are qualified to buy a house then you should seek out a Realtor and see whether you can obtain the Bank Loan. The problem you are having with porn is a serious one. If you find that you cannot stop yourself from looking at these images, you must seek professional counseling. However, you can begin by avoiding contact with the sites where your view this “trash.” Seek to replace the porn material with some other wholesome activity that can edify you and uplift your mind. Pray and ask God to take away the desire from you. You must guard the avenues of your soul. You must surrender your heart to Christ and allow Him full control. 

If your brother is disrespecting your mother then your mother needs to put a stop to that or ask for help from those she thinks can help. If you are not able to address the matter, leave it alone. You seem to have your own issues. You say you feel discounted by your family; again, no one can make you feel anything. Remember, you are responsible for your own reaction or response to people’s behavior towards you. 

You need to think highly of yourself for you are a child of God. Do not allow anyone to minimize you or put you down. Change yourself talk and start telling yourself that you are worth something and you have value. Learn to draw upon your own resources. What is the highest level of education that you have completed? Take the next step that will equip you for a job or a career and pursue your dream. 

Finally, you say want to serve the Lord. That is a good desire. Certainly Jesus will guide you. You must turn your life completely to Him and surrender your will to be guided by Him. That is the best decision you can make, and the quicker you start that journey, the better your plans will begin to come together. 
May God bless you as you strive to improve your circumstances.

Dr. Smith