Departments and Ministries
Dear Dr. Smith
80. Dear Dr. Smith
Please tell me if I am crazy or foolish?
I wrote the following note to a girl I am madly in love with.
“I know you in the past you never loved me
But darling I’ll still catch a grenade for you
Jump in front of a train for you
And throw my self on a spinning blade for you.”
And I am dead serious
Dear Crazy or Foolish
I can see that you are “dead” serious if you are willing to catch a grenade, jump in front of a train or throw yourself on a spinning blade for a girl you think you love. You will be so “seriously dead” that you won’t even know what’s happening around you, let alone to know if she really appreciated your “seriously dead sacrifice”. Ironically, God wants us to be a “living sacrifice” but you are choosing to be a dead one.
Your deadly commitment to this girl is “crazy and foolish" at best and suicidal and morbid at worst. Your catatonic loyalty to love reveals a young man whose sense of self and self worth have been badly corroded. The poet Matthew Arnold wrote, “resolve to be thyself, and know that he who finds himself, loses his misery”
I suggest to you, that you are not madly in love with this girl, you are just infatuated with her. Infatuation leads to irrational thinking. Irrational thinking leads to irrational feeling and irrational feeling leads to irrational behavior. Your only way out is to cognitively, positively, alter your thinking, which will adjust your feeling and behavior.
When you understand the sacrifice Christ made for you on Calvary you will begin to look at yourself differently. You will see yourself as a child of promise and not one of “fatal attraction”. Go back to the word of God and immerse yourself in it, find strength for your weaken impulse and hope for your broken dream. It’s not worth dying over anyone. Let your life be a living rational lover and not a “seriously dead one”.
I will say a prayer for you. God bless.
For more information about Dr. Smith's services go to www.familyfixers.org