90-- What’s wrong with kissing, fondling, necking, etc., before marriage?
Home > Departments and Ministries > Family Ministries > Dear Dr. Smith >
.
Dear Dr. Smith,

What’s wrong with kissing, fondling, necking, etc., before marriage? Teenage in love.

Dear Teenager in Love,

Your question is a provocative one, especially in this post-modern, pop-culture, lack of moral society that we are living in. Kissing, fondling, necking, etc., are behaviors that lead to sexual immorality. A teen’s emotional feelings are like a locomotive train going up a hill. It climes slowly up the hill, but when it reaches the brow of the hill and turns to go down, nothing stops it on it’s downward path.

The same is true for certain types of teen’s emotional display. As you climb the hill of intimate affection, you sometimes start out slowly, because, one; your conscience bothers you, two; parental ideals are remembered, or three; spiritual values are taunting. However, if you keep driving your emotional train up the hill, eventually it will reach the brow, and when hormonal adrenal starts rushing down the hill, like the locomotive train, you cannot be stopped until you reach the foot of the hill.

Most teenagers, who are sexually active or have had sex, did not start out with the intention of having sex. However, as a result of kissing, fondling, necking, etc., they end up having sex. Ellen White says, “every person will have to learn to restrain his passions and be controlled by principle.”

There are certain emotional behaviors that are reserved for married couples and teens should not be exploring these. As a teenager, you should have wholesome friends who embraced spiritual values, you should be making good grades, respectful to your parents, follow the good counsel of adults and keep developing strong moral character. Therefore, get the other mushy stuff out of your brain.

God bless.
Dr. Smith