92-- Regarding that rejection question I have a question...
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Dear Dr. Smith,

Regarding that rejection question I have a question. If you think you have gotten over the rejection, but you still find yourself with flash backs asking the question WHY???? Does that mean you have not fully gotten over it?

Dear Questioner on Rejection,
There are two types of flashbacks. Norman and abnormal, because of the magnitude of the human emotion that is involved in a rejection experience, it is quite normal to have flashbacks. One may reflect on pleasant moments, painful encounters, red flags that were ignored, counsels that were avoided, etc. These reflections may occur in a window of three to six months. They are considered normal if the person is still able to function at home and in the society without uncontroled crying, sighing, wining, or being angry or revengeful.

Outside of this window, if the reflection is creating undue stress, depression, pain, etc., then it becomes abnormal and professional help should be sought. In other words, asking the question “Why?” is quite normal if it comes within the window of normal flashback. If it is still being asked beyond this point, then acceptance has not taken place. In this case, you have to:
1.  Cotrol your thought process
2.  Stay in command of yourself
3.  Don't feel sorry for yourself
4.  Let go and let God
5.  Develop new priorities
6.  Accept your self for who you are
7.  Avoid negative thinking
8.  Be optimistic
9.  Stay focused
10. Pray and ask God to give you the peace to accept the things you cannot change.
11. Move on with your life and enjoy living.

God bless and thanks for asking.

Dr. Smith