Departments and Ministries
Dear Dr. Smith
I am having difficulty being judgmental and finding fault. I find myself being unhappy and not enjoying life. I pray to God and study his word. I know what I am to do, but always fail. I am at my ropes end. I Love God but feel that I am not good enough, and I let Him down. Also, I have PTSD and Depression which just seems to keep me down. Please help me with this ongoing issue. Thanks in advance.
Dear Unhappy Person,
Part of the reason for your being judgmental and finding fault is because you are not happy with yourself. Your subconscious thoughts are sending you faulty messages. Such as, in order to feel better you must put others down and be judgmental. Happiness is a state of the mind. It is more internally caused than externally. That is to say, you must first find peace with your self before external sources can make you happy. If you look only to external sources such as, money, friendship, intimacy, material possession, etc., your happiness will be short lived, why? Because these are mere vanity of vanities. Your happiness will only be genuine when you strengthen your relationship with Christ and accept yourself for who you are.
The notion of letting God down should not drive you into depression but on to repentance. Many Christians spend sleepless days and nights worrying about God’s forgiveness. 1 John 1:9 has the answer, “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us of our sins and cleans us from all unrighteousness.” Our part is to do the confessing, God’s part is to do the forgiving. Just focus on the confessing and leave the rest to Him. Stop feeling badly over your mistakes and work on avoiding them.
Your PTSD diagnosis, is it self diagnosed or were you clinically diagnosed? If you are really suffering from PTSD, it means that something dramatic occurred sometime in your past that is still affecting you. I would need to know exactly what that is, in order to help. In the mean time, here are some steps you can take to assist your depressive, unhappy feelings.
1. Practice cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT). That is to say, force yourself to think positively. If you think positively, you will feel that way. According to CBT, the way you view a situation will determine the way you feel. Right now you are feeling down and out, and that is because of the way you are thinking. Change your thought process and automatically your feelings will change as well.
2. Do not allow yourself to be trapped in learned helplessness. There is a lot you can do to help yourself get over PTSD and depression. Do not accept this malady as your lot in life. Strive to be happy.
3. Setting small achievable goals and accomplish them, will help to renew self-esteem.
4. Any kind of exercise will help to make you feel better.
5. Call a friend or talk honestly with someone you trust about your feelings.
6. Get professional help if your condition does not improve.
7. Keep praying and studying the word of God.