Departments and Ministries
Dear Dr. Smith
Dear. Dr. Smith
I have been separated from my husband for almost four years. He is filing for divorce and I am not in favor of it. I am a Christian and I believe in marriage and that God takes that union seriously. My husband doesn't want to work on our marriage. I suspect that my husband is involved with another woman. The separation has been very hard on me emotionally, physically and spiritually. We have two beautiful children, xx and xx years old and have been married for xxxxx years. Since it seems my husband does not want anything to do with me and our marriage, I was looking at developing another relationship. I need male companionship and I miss that intimate connection between a man and a woman. I guess once the divorce is final I am concerned about dating again. This is scary to me. I have a lot to offer to another person. However I have children and I am concerned about their well being too. Any suggestions?
Dear Separated from Husband,
Your story is just another painful episode of the demise of the Christian family. Satan must be happy to see how many of God’s children he is beguiling. My heart goes out for you and I pray that God will give you the coping skills as you move on with your life and make the best of it.
If your husband does not want to work on the marriage, and chose to go with another woman, then, there is nothing you can do about it, except to leave him in his own sin and folly. His day of reckoning is coming. The emotional, physical and spiritual effect of his absence is quite understood, however, you do have the resilience to move on and to be strong for your children. The God you serve is not sleeping and the law of poetic justice will one day take effect. “What goes around comes around.”
The following suggestions should be helpful.
1. Never speak negatively about your husband to the children or in their hearing.
2. Do not deprive them from seeing him or spending time with him.
3. Show love to your children but do not spoil them
4. Love your self and take good care of it, that’s all you have (your children will one day grow up and move out)
5. Nothing is wrong in forming another relationship after your divorce is completed
6. Be very careful and watch out for personality traits.
7. Your feelings for intimacy and relationship is quit normal and natural
8. Always look carefully before you leap
9. If you do chose to form a relationship after your divorce, you should talk it over with your children a few times first before introducing them to anyone.
10. Keep trusting in God and never let go of His hand.
I will say a prayer for you, be strong, God bless.