104 If a husband abuses his wife, withholds sex, commits adultery...
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Dear Dr. Smith,

If a husband emotionally abuses his wife, withholds sex, commits adultery and abandons her then refuses counseling and ask for a divorce after which she then commits adultery should either of them remarry?

Just inquiring.

Dear Inquiring,
Before I proceed to answer your question, I need to address a fundamental problem embedded in your question, that is; the notion that the husband is bad and the wife is good. It appears that way from the way you have phrased the question. However, if the wife is good, she does not commit adultery regardless of her husband’s behavior. Therefore, one could assume that the husband’s behavior might also be influenced by deterioration in the marriage. They both might have been contributing to the demise of the marriage. She should have abhorred his behavior to the point that adultery would be the last thing on planet earth that she is engaged in. She should not have stooped to his low level of behavior. Unfortunately, the lack of impulse control was seen in both parties, no matter at what point it manifested itself.

Anyway, to be more specific to your question, neither party has the right to remarry. They both have violated the marriage vow and as such should remain separated or try and work on rehabilitating the marriage. Remarriage is a very serious step. Jesus made it abundantly clear the grounds and clause for remarriage (Matt 5:32 & 19:9). I must hasten to say that not every divorce is accepted in the eyes of God and not every remarriage is accepted in the eyes of God. Christians need to tread softly and let not hate or love blind their eyes or confuse their emotion.

Thanks for your question and may God keep blessing.

Dr. Smith
For more information about Dr. Smith's services go to www.familyfixers.org