Departments and Ministries
Dear Dr. Smith
When you love someone who has hurt you so deeply does it make sense to stay or just leave even when it seems impossible to live without him/her?
Dear Hurting Person,
My first assumption from your question is that this is a marital relationship. If I am right, then your question is not as easy as one may think. Depending on what has caused the hurt, will determine the possible course of action. For example, if the hurt came from, physical abuse or adultery, then by all means, you do have the right to leave. No one deserves to be abused and every abuser has the potential of becoming a killer. You do not need to stay around to find out if yours is. Also, adultery is always wrong, and if leaving is what you need to do in order to work on your healing, then that’s acceptable.
At the same time, all hurts can be healed, it depends on 1) the perpetrator’s attitude, the victim’s wiliness to forgive, 3) the willingness of both parties to go and get professional help and 4) a desire to show godly sorry for sin and a turning away from it.
If this is not a marital situation and you choose to stay in it, then, there is a strong possibility that you will be hurt again. So, unless you are prepared to go through the pain you are now feeling again, and again, then, the best option is to end the relationship. It is a myth to think that it is impossible to live without someone. So what will happen if that person dies? Will you die also? Often we are crippled by our own condemning voice telling us we are not good enough, or we cannot stand alone. The truth of the matter is, you are never alone, Jesus is always with you, to comfort and cheer, just when you need Him most.
Be courageous enough to do the right thing. Maybe you need to love your self enough to give it better than what you have. I said maybe! God bless.
For more information about Dr. Smith's services go to www.familyfixers.org