114. Should I marry someone as much as 10yrs older, I love older men
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Dear Dr. Smith

I do not look my age. People are always guessing that I am somewhere in my mid 20's, and younger men are always looking my way. I prefer older men but it seems I will have to initiate the contact. I need your advise on dating or marrying younger men, as young as 10 years apart.

Dear Younger Looking Lady,

It is a compliment to you for people to be thinking that you are much younger that your actual age. Any woman will take that compliment. But with that comes your challenge, that of younger men showing interest. Dating and marrying younger men as much as 10 years a part is never generally a good practice. For several reasons:
1.    Women mature faster than men. Regardless of how young you look now, chronologically, you will mature faster and that may create conflicts later.
2.    A ten years difference is too wide a gap. As the marriage progresses, and difficulties arise, he may feel like a child who is mothered by his mother.
3.    Menopause is an issue for women, when you reach that stage, he may just be discovering his fountain of youth. Unfaithfulness may set in.
4.    You may become jealous, suspicious or angry, when he wants to hang with younger women of his age.
5.    Chronologically speaking, you may be worlds apart on what you want to do socially and emotionally as well as how to resolve conflicts and child raring problems.
6.    Depending on the age, the issue of childbearing may become a problem.

I am conscious of the fact that some of my readers may be able to site examples of couples with great age disparity and yet their relationship is just fine. While that may be true, the fact is, those cases are the exception and not the rule. When forming relationships, one should not reach for the exception, but stick to the rule. I wish you God’s greatest blessing in your relationship formation and may He guide you into making the right choice.

Have a great day.

Dr. Smith
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