124 Don't understand husband's funny behavior...
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Dear Dr. Smith

I don't understand my husband's funny behavior. When we are out as a family on an outing he goes around to others and doesn't stay where we are. If we are at a party, again he does not come by us to "check in" to see how we are doing. If we are at church, there he goes again he does not sit where we are and a seat is there waiting for him. This is not normal. What is this behavior saying? Please Dr. Smith what do you say on this matter.

Sincerely,

Wife who wants to know

Dear Wife who wants to Know,

I read your concerns and empathized with you. I cannot understand why your husband would be behaving like that. Several factors could cause this behavior, For example:
1. He is not proud of his family
2. He enjoys the company of others than the company of his family
3. Something is wrong, and this is his way of showing how upset he is
4. He is immature and does not know how to behave in a responsible way
5. His interest is somewhere else, hence the distance
6. Guilt is preventing him from sitting with his family
7. Revenge: he is trying to get even or to settle a score
8. He does not love his family as he should
9. He feels embarrassed to be in the presence of his family
10. Maybe that’s the way he was socialized, his parents and or grandparents did the same thing.

Whatever his reason or reasons for staying away, they are all negative. Unfortunately, some of these individuals who have a negative attitude towards their families, are the most caring to others, most willing to work at Church and sometimes even the most holy ones in Church. It’s just a façade; their kindness, willingness and holiness is only a cover up for some more deep seated problem.

It is quite possible that you husband needs some professional intervention. It might help him to get in touch with himself and his behavior. In the mean time, you should sit down with him and have a serious talk about the situation and your expectation. Try and negotiate some kind of agreement whereby he can decide to spend more time with the family. When you sit to talk, don't criticize, don't get upse and don't give labels, just stick to the facts. This is crucial if you are to accomplish anything in that meeting. I hope this will work out for you. Keep courageous, God bless.

Dr. Smith
For more information about Dr. Smith's services go to www.familyfixers.org