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Dear Dr. Smith
Dear Dr. Smith,
I need your help, my marriage is in great trouble, but I am pretending as if everything is OK. My wife thinks that she is right in everything. She hides money from her salary and like Sapphire, pretends as if that’s how much she makes. Everything about her is secret yet she is peeping into every crevasses of my life. She wants to dominate and be in charge, and at every given opportunity she sabotages my progress, even though she gets a hundred percent support from me. I am so frustrated, that I feel like just walking away and end it all, maybe my life as well.
Please help, desperate husband.
Dear Desperate Husband.
It is difficult for you to be in a relationship that you have to be pretending like things are OK. Eventually, you will some how stop the pretense and things will break loose in the relationship. It is wrong for her to be hiding money from her salary and falsify the stated amount. It is also hypocritical and pharisaical for her to want to remain private in certain areas of her life and at the same time is digging into all the areas of yours. Whenever a woman tries to dominate a man, it is symptomatic of some unresolved issues. Maybe childhood wounds or unclosed past. Whatever the reason, any attempt to dominate the other will only frustrate the marriage and make the parties fight more.
The notion of her blocking your progress is repulsive, neither party should attempt to hinder one’s growth and progress. Most times, it is because of jealousy and narcissism that one would prevent the other from upward progress. The relationship is not a healthy relationship and at best needs professional counseling.
I pray God that He will give you the strength to face your challenges successfully. I counsel you not to do anything foolish, I hope you will heed my counsel. Whatever you do, do not destroy your family and do not destroy yourself.
God bless and I will be praying.
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