137. For 4 yrs. porn has been crawling all over me
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Dear Dr. Smith
My wish is for a straight spiritual life like others, I have a problem with 
porn, for four years it has been crawling all over me. I don’t want to do 
it any more. I am a leader and it pains me each time I go to 
church and pray for forgiveness, and yet go back and do the same sin. I would be glad if I stayed a year without watching any of those stuff, just loving my 
Jesus like I should. Please help, what can I do?

Dear distraught Leader,

Your wish is a beautiful one, that is, to live a spiritual life and keep loving Jesus. However, all wishes are irrational until they are put into action. Wishes are not enough, wishes must be acted upon. Porn addiction, like any other addiction, is controlling at best and destructive at worst, and unless you get to the etiology of the problem and receive help from a source outside yourself, you will remain in the “wish” column for the rest of your life. I am glad however, that you have recognized your sinful condition and is reaching out for help.
People who are engrossed in pornography are doing so because of an emotional deficit within them. The following variables are possible causative factors:
  • A desire to have emotional contact without risk of accountability
  • Avoidance of personal intimacy
  • Experience of hurt or betrayal
  • Loss of self-esteem,
  • Mistrust, fear or anger
  • Selfishness
  • A depraved nature
Here are some possible steps that can help you move from wishing to stopping
  • Deal with Underlying Issues not just the surface ones
  • Explore any unresolved problems, childhood wounds, parental neglect or abuse
  • Examine the “hidden self” and any desire to protect it
  • Seek the help of a professional counselor to help you work through your baggage
  • Change your diet, destroy all porn tapes, movies, magazines, etc.
  • Delete all websites that take you to porn sites
  • Sell or give away your computer if you can’t control its use
  • Get rid of cable or dish network that has all those XXX movies
  • Do not subscribe to any playboy, adult, etc. channels
  • Stop all forms of masturbating
  • Stop hallucinating and daydreaming over female bodies
  • Stop staring at women when you see them
  • Read your bible more frequently
  • Fast and pray for divine strength
Above all, repent of your sins. True repentance is; “godly sorrow for sin and a turning away from it.” Pray David’s prayer: “Wash me thoroughly from mine iniquity… “Purge me with hyssop…”“Create in me a clean heart…”  (Ps 51)
Remember, the God you serve is able to help you if you really reach out to Him in faith. And please, when reaching out to Him, don't just pray for a year to be free, pray for a lifetime of freedom from porn. I will be praying for you. Keep trusting God and start doing the right thing no matter how difficult it might seem to you. God bless.

Dr. Smith
For more information about Dr. Smith's services go to www.familyfixers.org