138. I am infatuated with my own maternal sister
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Dear Dr. Smith

I have made a tremendous mistake of becoming infatuated with my own maternal sister. This led to my crossing my limits with her but not to the very extent. I realized it very soon after I did what I did, and asked her for forgiveness. At first she did but later those things came back to her and now she has stopped speaking to me. It has gotten worse in that she does not want to see me anymore. Please help me and pray to God for me that He will forgive me and help me re-establish the relationship with my sister and that she too will forgive me.
Worried Person.

Dear Worried Person,

I am sorry to hear of what has developed between you and your sister as a result of your lack of impulse control. First let me address the root of your problem. The feeling that you have towards your sister is called "incest".  II Sam 13:1ff records a sad incestuous rape between a brother and a sister. This emotional feeling is driven by a depraved nature. It is quite possible that you are involved in other devices such as; pornography, masturbation, premarital sex, etc.

To overcome this depraved nature, you need to first surrender your will to God and ask him to heal you of these carnal feelings or sinful pleasures. Secondly, you need to see a professional counselor and work through these incestuous emotional feelings. It is quite possible that these feelings are a result of childhood wounds, unfulfilled dreams, unmet expectations or unresolved issues. Whatever the reason you need help beyond yourself.

You should also take the time to apologize to your sister again and tell her of the steps you have taken to get help and to find healing. Steps which should include, but not limited to, deleting un-forbidden pictures from your computer, stop visiting sexual web cites, stopping the use of any form of pornography, stopping pre-marital sex, and guarding the edges of your mind. I pray that your sister may have a change of heart towards you, but you should understand the hurt, disappointment and embarrassment you have caused your sister.

I will say a prayer for you and may God give you the strength to do the right thing.


Dr. Smith
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