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Dear Dr. Smith
Dear Dr. Smith
What should a born again woman do if she discovers an incestuous relationship between her husband and their adult biological daughter
My dear Sister,
Thanks for reaching out to me. I can understand how heartbroken and confused you must be. This is indeed a painful pill for you to swallow. Let me say that this it is not an issue of being born again or not born again, it is a issue of “incest”, and your Christianity should not prevent you from acting firmly. So your question should have been what should be my response if I discovered an incestuous relationship between my husband and our biological daughter. This I must admit is a very tough and painful one.
There are several steps that you need to take and be firm on them.
1. Make sure that you have the facts and not speculations or insinuations. Therefore, ascertain the veracity of your information.
2. Is your adult daughter living with you? If yes, it’s time for her to go. Period. I don’t want to hear any excuses, she is an adult, she is doing adult act (as sinful and heinous as it is) therefore she must take adult actions and adult responsibilities.
3. If she is not living with you, then she must stop visiting or your husband must stop visiting her.
4. Confront your husband, explain the sickness of his behavior and the need to stop immediately.
5. Do not allow him to cajole you into thinking that it is not so bad. Don’t be intimidated by him, don’t let him label you as too jealous or too sensitive.
6. Confront your daughter and explain the implications of her behavior, i.e. destroying your marriage, causing you pain, the societal embarrassment the behavior will cause and the family disgrace as well. Ask her to have some pride, shame and respect for you. You are her MOTHER! Ask her to stop the behavior immediately.
7. Both you and your husband should seek marital counseling from a professional.
8. Be prepared to go on with your life without your husband if he refuses to stop his incestuous behavior.
9. You should not compromise your stand on this matter; it is disgusting, deplorable, debasing and deceitful.
10. As you continue to nurse the pain in your heart remember to also take it to the Lord in prayer. He will give you the strength to face it and to act accordingly.
Keep courageous and remember, “for you I am praying.”
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