143. It keeps haunting me. What can I do?
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Dear Dr. Smith

I need prayer as I feel or think I may have depression and am afraid to ask for help. It is starting to affect areas in my life. I can see this trough the way I treat others and myself. I constantly feel guilty of past happenings in it keeps on coming back and forgiveness for myself seems to be the problem. It keeps haunting me. What can I do? Pray for me please.

Dear Friend,
The fact that you feel or think that you are depressed does not make you depress. Depression is a clinical state of being that manifests itself in: loss of appetite, diminished interest in or enjoyment of activities, sleeplessness or hypersomnia, lack of energy, poor concentration and indecisiveness, social withdrawal, suicidal thoughts, feelings of hopelessness, worthlessness, or inappropriate guilt, low self-esteem, unresolved grief issues, mood-related hallucinations or delusions, etc.

Please note that any one or two of these definitions does not necessarily render a person depressed and I would not want you to start looking at this list to justify your feelings of being depressed. If you strongly feel that you are depressed, then please, by all means, see a clinician.  

Concerning the way you treat others, you need to know that it is a choice you make. I am sure that you treat some people differently than you treat others. Therefore, it’s not because your are feeling depressed why you treat some badly, but because of a choice you make to differentiate between people. This has nothing to do with feelings, but how you perceive people. The good news is that you can change that behavior no matter how you are feeling. You can choose to be nice to people, no matter whom.

You must master the art of letting go of past mistakes, failures, problems, etc. Keeping grudges or holding on to the past only clutters your soul and pollutes your mind. One of the reasons why you are not able to forgive yourself and others is because of your inability to let go of the past. Start practicing the art of forgiveness and see how it frees up you mind and soul and body. To let go is to move on into the canopy of God’s love.

The more you harbor grudges, pain, fear and guilt, the more depressed you will feel. I recommend that you ask God to help you to forgive, forget and to be free. I will be praying for you. I know you can change, and by God’s grace you must change. Keep courageous and may God bless you.

Dr. Smith
For more information about Dr. Smith's services go to www.familyfixers.org