145. I love fondling breasts
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Dear Dr. Smith,

I love fondling breasts and it has always been the “turn on” in my relationship. About a year ago, my wife did mastectomy on both of her breast, I still love her but I have lost my turning on devise. My sexual desires are ebbing, what can I do?

Dear Love to Fondle Breasts,
You have lost the breasts of your wife not the life of your wife. For that you should be thankful. Also, you should be more in love with your wife than her breast. You see, if you love the breast more than the wife, then you have a problem. However, if you love your wife more than her breast, then you can deal with her aching loss.

Unfortunately, I hear you expressing more for your fondling loss, that the pain, frustration, apprehension and physical loss your wife experienced. Put yourself into her position for one brief moment. Do you think she is happy that she has lost her breast? Do you think she wanted them removed? More importantly, do you understand the reason why they were removed? I believe this is where you should be putting your thoughts and emotion. The health condition of your wife should be your priority rather than the loss of your “sexual arousal toy”.

On a more practical note, why don’t you thank God that it’s her breast she has lost! Hello! What are you wining about? You still have your fountain to drink from! There are other places you can fondle like her neck, her arms, her cheeks, etc., etc. Your desire to fondle her breast is understandable, however, this is a learnt behavior. You can cognitively re-structure your brain to be stimulated by other parts of her body and get as much stimulation or even more.

Your psychological reaction to her surgery is un-necessary; there is no need for your sexual desires to wane. Just re-program your mind, re-condition your thoughts and make your wife the subject of your love. Don’t be afraid to get professional help, it will get you through these feelings.

God bless and stay optimistic.

Dr. Smith
For more information about Dr. Smith's services go to www.familyfixers.org