174. I was in the habit of fornicating...
Home > Departments and Ministries > Family Ministries > Dear Dr. Smith >
Dear Dr. Smith

Is it important for me to confess to someone else before I can be forgiven? For example, I was in the habit of fornicating, do I need to confess to the man I want to get married to or should I just confess to God and feel forgiven?

Dear Friend,
It is important for you to confess to someone in order to receive forgiveness, if you have done wrong to that person. The Lord's Prayer is very clear on this, "and for give us as we forgive". However, if your sin is a private sin then that is between you and your God.

To answer your specific question, should you confess to your fiancée about your past behavior, well, it all depends. If there is a possibility that you past will catch up with you or come back to haunt you, then yes, you should tell your fiancée about your past. For example, if you have contracted an STD that he is likely to catch as well, you were raped and the rape is still affecting you emotionally and psychologically, you have multiple sexual partners and they have secrets for you (such as nude photos, tapes of your nudity or sexual escapade, abortions, drug use, etc.). If you had a real bad past, wisdom would say that you should talk with your friend about it.

At the same time you do have the right to privacy, therefore, you and only you should determine what you want to disclose. Be assured, that if there is no harm to be done to him, confessing to God alone should be sufficient.

I pray that you will sober up and live a more careful life, even if you did not get married. Your body is the temple of the living God and you should take better care of it.

I wish you the best and will continue to lift you up in prayer.
God bless and have a great day.

Dr. Smith
For more information about Dr. Smith's services go to www.familyfixers.org