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Dear Dr. Smith
Dear Dr. Smith
I have been married to my husband for ten years and we have three children. We’ve had our ups and downs in marriage but by God's grace and many prayers things were back to normal and happy, at least that’s what I taught. Last month I was informed my by doctor that I had a sexually transmitted disease. I was so angry and hurt, because I never suspected that my husband was out there sleeping around. I did a lot of praying an crying and decided to forgive him because I believe that’s what God would want me to do. He said he was sorry and would try hard to fix things. But I don't think he meant it because I found in his phone a half naked women and a text to another woman that was very, very in appropriate. It has been so hard for me having to keep everything inside. Please help me, what would God want me to do?
Dear Broken Heart,
I am sorry to hear of your sad, broken and despicable situation. And I hope to God that your husband will truly have a change of heart before it is too late for your marriage or his soul salvation. Telling you he is sorry is not enough. He now needs to demonstrate how sorry he is. Here are my suggestions.
- Explain to you the reason for the half naked woman and the meaning of the text message.
- He should come with no lies, no joking around, no concoction, but come clean with his answers
- Delete all pictures and messages from facebook, twiter, phone, ipad, computer, etc.
- Disclose to you whom he got the disease from and the steps taken to end the relationship.
- Give you access to all passwords to all accounts for his gadgets and cyber accounts.
- End the relationship/s in your presence with meaning and conviction
- Be open and prudent in his dealings with you.
- Accept some chastisement and resentment from you.
- Take responsibility for his shortcommings and seek to save his marrage
- Pray together and ask God for forgiveness and healing.
- Be patient with you as you take time to heal and move on.
- Improve his own spiritual connection with God.
- Find a wholesome creative outlet that is right in the eyes of God for his testosterone surge.
As for you and your broken heart, take it to the Lord in prayer, in His arms He will take and shield you. God wants you to make up with your husband as best as you can. However, do not compromise on principles, it is better to be single that to be wishing you were. He must ask for forgiveness and genuinley mean it before he can receive forgiveness.
I pray things work the way they should and your marriage will find healing, growth and strength. God bless and stay strong.
For more information about Dr. Smith's services go to www.familyfixers.org