183. Does that mean you should not marry the person?
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Dear Dr. Smith

What if you introduce your parents to someone you want to marry, and your parents are objecting, does that mean you should not marry the person? Their argument is that they don’t like him, therefore, they don’t want me to get married to him. If I insist on getting married to this person, and tell my parents that he is the one I have chosen to be my life’s partner is that being disobedient to my parents?

Dear Friend,
The question of marriage is a very serious one and quite complicated too. Certainly, when you get married, you married into a family. You are not just marrying each other. After the marriage, there is the issue of grandparents, holidays with families, and get-to-gathers for birthday parties for the children. Grandparents play a vital role in these occasions.

If your parents do not want you to marry this guy, maybe they are seeing something that you are too much in love to see. One of the reasons why the divorce rate is so high is that couples who think they are in love frequently ignore ‘red flags’ while they were dating. Maybe you need sit with your parents and let them give you some concrete rational reasons for their objection. If you don't think they are rational and fair, then maybe you could arrange for another meeting with them and your pastor or a Christian professional counselor. This may seem time consuming, but since marriage is all consuming then it will worth the time.

It is not a good idea to get married without your parent’s blessings, especially if you are a young person. Besides, you will always have your parents until death brings about a separation. That you cannot say for sure about the person you are madly in love with now.

As an adult, you would not be disobedient to your parents if you did not take their advise and went ahead and get married, but past experiences of others should teach you that that could be an ill-fated decision.

I pray that things will work out the best way for you and I will keep a prayer in my heart for you.

Have a blessed day.

Dr. Smith
For more information about Dr. Smith's services go to www.familyfixers.org