188. In 2010 I was raped, in 2014 I got HIV....
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Dear Dr. Smith,
Life hasn’t been easy for me. In 2010 I was raped, in 2011 & 2012 I failed all my subjects at the university. During 2013 I felt alone and empty. In 2014 I got HIV, and now I recently lost my boyfriend. I'm in pain. I feel like the Lord doesn’t love me and has abandoned me. I try to pray but I feel He doesn’t hear my prayers. I've tried killing myself more than five times but I keep failing. I want to be able to forget about my boyfriend, I want a new life, I hate myself.
Please help.

Dear Friend,
I am very sorry to hear that you were raped. That is the most traumatic, humiliating, embarrassing and disconcerting thing that can ever happen to a person. You need to get some professional help, because, it seems to be affecting the rest of your professional life.

It is not that God doesn’t love you or has abandoned you; but if you departed from His precepts, then Psalm 66:18, is very clear, if we regard iniquity in our hearts the Lord will not hear us. And Isa 59: 1 & 2 says, Behold, the Lord’s hand is not shortened, that it cannot save; neither his ear heavy, that it cannot hear, but your iniquities have separated between you and your God and our sins have hid his face from you, that he will not hear.

It is obvious that you have been sexually active. Unfortunately, you now have a bitter price to pay. The one thing you must not do, however, is to pass on the HIV to an innocent victim. To do so is a crime. Fortunately, these days, people with HIV are living much longer, therefore, your life is not over, you must pick up the jangling discords of your life and take them to Jesus for His healing.

By the way, trying to kill your self is the most idiotic thing you have ever attempted, and I hope you will never do that again. God has given you a brain, use it to live and stop this stupidity of wanting to die. Do you think that Jesus suffered on Calvary for you to commit suicide? And stop this nonsense about hating yourself. God loves you and the lease you can do is to love yourself in return.
You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and stars, you have a right to live, no matter what, so start living for Jesus.

Be assured that God will never give up on you, 1 John 1:9 gives you the assurance that He is faithful and just to forgive you and to cleanse you from all unrighteousness. In John 6: 37 Jesus says, “all that the Father giveth me shall come to me; and him that cometh to me I will in no wise cast out. This is your assurance that if you repent he will forgive.

I am truly sorry to hear of you failed relationship but it might just be a wake up call to help you get in touch with your true self and start you life over, but this time doing it the right way. The Jesus way.

I will keep praying for you, may God have mercy on you and bless you.

Dr. Smith
For more information about Dr. Smith's services go to www.familyfixers.org